


Nailed It!

by whiskygalore



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jensen, Community: smpc, M/M, Rimming, bad baking, smut and humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 18:00:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20295655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiskygalore/pseuds/whiskygalore
Summary: There’s one thing Jared can’t resist. And it’s not Jensen’s baking.





	Nailed It!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Saltandburnboys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saltandburnboys/gifts).

> Ridiculous smut for Saltandburnboys and for the SMPC. Happy Birthday, Salt!! ❤️❤️❤️

There’s flour on the tip of Jensen’s ear. And a dusty white handprint planted square in the middle of his right ass-cheek. Jared stops and leans against the doorjamb to appreciate the sight. Jensen’s mixing something in a bowl that Jared can’t quite see, and singing along to a Katy Perry song blasting on the radio. Jared’s not sure if he’s more taken aback by Jensen’s sudden attempt at baking or the discovery that his boyfriend secretly knows all the words to Firework. 

One thing’s for sure, he’s definitely more than a little turned on by all the ass shaking Jensen’s doing as he sings. Especially as Jensen’s ass is perfectly naked... other than the floury handprint. 

Before Jared can decide whether to say hello or take out his cellphone and record Jensen’s ass-wiggling for his own private Jared time, Jensen turns around. His eyes go comically wide, the wooden spoon in his hand freezes mid-air, and his mouth snaps shut half-way through hollering out that Jared needs to let his colors burst.

Jared grins so wide his dimples hurt.

Jensen’s face turns an adorable shade of blush-pink. The extra color doesn’t hide the dusting of flour scattered across the bridge of his nose that looks as though it’s attempting to beat Jensen’s freckles at their own freckly game. Or the smudge of vanilla frosting at the corner of his lips. 

“Hi, honey, I’m home,” Jared says, belatedly.

Jensen looks as though he’s caught halfway between mortal embarrassment and throwing his spoon at Jared’s head. He settles for hastily turning off the radio and shooting Jared a pouty lipped glare that might just have had Jared trembling in his size thirteen boots if it wasn’t for the pink frilly apron tied around Jensen’s waist. 

“You’re home early,” Jensen says, a note of accusal in his tone. 

“You’re singing a Katy Perry song,” Jared tosses back. 

The wooden spoon twitches in Jensen’s hand. “I was not,” he says, through gritted teeth. 

Jared raises an eyebrow, and silently debates how likely it is that Jensen will manage to accurately throw that spoon at Jared’s head if he argues the point. It’s probably not worth the risk; he’s seen Jensen’s baseball trophies. 

Also, and more importantly, Jensen is ONLY wearing a pink frilly apron. Jared and his ever-hopeful dick have much greater priorities than mocking Jensen about his taste in cheesy pop tunes. 

“Naked baking?” He says instead, not hiding a lecherous grin as he stares at Jensen’s perky nipples. “What did I do to deserve this?”

Jensen’s blush turns a deeper shade of pink. It still doesn’t hide his new flour freckles. 

“There was an incident,” Jensen says. “With the cocoa powder. And then with eggs. And the food mixer.”

Jensen runs his spoon-free hand through his hair which draws Jared’s attention to the sticky tufts backing up Jensen’s food mixer explanation. 

“I figured naked baking meant less laundry.”

“Nearly naked baking,” Jared points out, looking appreciatively at Jensen’s frilly pink apron. “I approve by the way. Of the nakedness.”

“You don’t approve of the baking?” Jensen asks, just as the ting of the oven timer goes off. Jared is amazed Jensen knows how to work the over timer. Frankly, Jared is amazed Jensen knows how to work the oven. Since they moved in together, the only thing Jared has seen Jensen cook is steak. On the grill. Outside. 

No, actually, that’s a lie. He made pancakes once. The poor pan didn’t quite make it. But the guys from the fire station were pretty understanding. A few autographs and a couple of selfies and they all left happy. 

“Oh, I approve of pretty much everything right now,” Jared says watching Jensen turn around, and pop the spoon back into a bowl before bending down to open the oven door. Oh yeah, Jared’s dick very _ very _ much approves of the view. “Admit it,” he continues, avidly watching Jensen’s ass framed by the bow of the pink apron, “you’ve been binge watching Nailed It again, haven’t you?”

Jensen loves that stupid baking show on Netflix.

Jared doesn’t mind it, it’s pretty hilarious actually, but there’s only one thing he’s interested in nailing right now.

The smell of burnt chocolate slowly drifts across the room as Jensen stands up, setting down his muffin pan on the worktop and shutting the oven door with a drawn-out sigh. “Don’t you dare say it, Jared.”

“Say what?” Jared asks innocently.

Jensen knows him far too well. “Anything that involves nailing and my ass.”

“I would never,” Jared says, convincing exactly no one. 

“And so what if I have,” Jensen grumbles, poking at the top of a cupcake. “Have you seen the people on that show? If they can make a goddamn dinosaur cake then I can make a few stupid chocolate cupcakes.”

“Uh huh,” Jared says, walking across the kitchen to peer over Jensen’s shoulder... and place a proprietary hand on Jensen’s butt. “Isn’t the point of the show the fact they _ can’t _ make a dinosaur cake?”

Jensen lets out a grumpy huff, but doesn’t do anything to remove Jared’s hand from his butt cheek. Jared’s dick perks up so fast he almost pulls a muscle. 

Jensen stares forlornly at his crispy creations. “Seriously though, who can’t make cupcakes?” 

“You apparently,” Jared answers, maybe a little too honestly. 

“Hey,” Jensen complains, jabbing him in the ribs with his surprisingly sharp elbows. Jared’s dick decides right there and then to write a formal letter of complaint to Jared’s mouth.

But, no matter how much he loves Jensen, Jared is not risking his teeth on those rock-like abominations. “You can’t be perfect at everything, darlin’,” he points out, hoping to ease the burn.

Jensen harrumphs but keeps his elbows to himself. “Maybe I should make some more.”

“Now?” Jared asks, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He can think of at least six things he’d rather do right now, just off the top of his head. 

Jensen shrugs. “Well, the oven’s still hot and I’ve got all this frosting.”

“I can think of better things to do with the frosting.” Jared smirks. 

“Jared, you’re not eating a whole bowl of vanilla frosting; you’ll be sick. Remember Halloween and the Fluff.”

Eating the frosting wasn’t what Jared had in mind. Not from the bowl anyway. And hey... Halloween wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t back down from a double-dog dare. And, to be honest, that jar of marshmallow Fluff had been delicious. It was the Jell-O shots he’d thrown back afterwards that made him hurl. That memory is not something Jared wants Jensen thinking about right now though.

Jared dips his head to lick at the frosting on the corner of Jensen’s mouth. “It’s not frosting I really want to eat, sweetheart.”

Ignoring his admittedly poor attempt at seduction, Jensen looks sadly down at the burnt husks of his cupcakes. “Maybe I could make muffins instead.”

“There’s only one muffin I’m interested in,” Jared tries again, giving Jensen’s ass a firm squeeze followed by a playful slap that echoes through the room.

Jensen snorts and shakes his head. “My ass is not a muffin.”

“No,” Jared agrees, turning Jensen around so he can kiss him properly. “But it is delicious.”

“Jay,” Jensen starts to say, but Jared cuts off his words and his eye-roll with a kiss that tastes mainly of vanilla and a little of uncooked flour. By the time he drags his lips away from Jensen’s they’re both breathless, there’s a flush all the way down Jensen’s chest and his dick is tenting the apron. 

“You clean, baby?” He asks. 

Jared thought Jensen’s blush had already reached peak-intensity, but apparently not. “Yeah,” Jensen says, his ears burning bright enough to warn off low flying aircraft. 

Jared really can’t resist all the tempting bare skin any longer. “Turn around,” he says, shoving Jensen where he wants him, elbows on the worktop, feet apart. His ass framed beautifully by the sloppily tied apron-bow.

He kisses the back of Jensen’s neck, grazes his teeth across the ball of his shoulder and reaches around to pinch his nipples just to watch a shiver run down Jensen’s spine. Then, after scooping his finger through the frosting, Jared kneels down behind Jensen, nudges his legs even wider apart, and smears the creamy mixture over his hole. 

“Jay,” Jensen gasps. “Cold.”

Jared slaps Jensen’s butt, hard enough to leave a red handprint that covers the floury one completely, before grabbing his ass-cheeks with both hands and spreading them apart. He blows gently across Jensen’s hole first and then licks a stripe straight across it, the taste of vanilla and Jensen mingling on his tongue in the best possible way. 

Jared loves to do this. Loves the noises he can drag out of Jensen, the whimpers and whines. Loves how he can make Jensen’s knees shake with just a twist of his tongue. How Jensen can come without a touch to his dick if Jared eats him out for long enough. 

He laps at Jensen’s pretty hole until every last trace of frosting is gone and then concentrates on spearing Jensen as deeply as possible on his tongue. Jensen’s trembling so hard by the time he stops to take a breath that only Jared’s hands on his ass are stopping him from sliding to the floor. 

“Fuck,” Jensen groans, voice muffled and broken, his head buried in his arms on the worktop.

“Soon,” Jared agrees, giving Jensen’s hole a few firm smacks with his fingers just to see the way it flutters, all bitten-red and needy. 

He’s fully planning on diving back in, driving Jensen past the point of coherency on his tongue, unfortunately, or maybe not, Jensen has other plans, and before Jared knows it he’s the one on his feet leaning back against the table, with Jensen on his knees in front of him, the ridiculous apron tented on his lap, the bowl of frosting in his hand and a cheeky smile on his face.

Vanilla frosted blow-jobs, Jared decides a few minutes later, are the eighth fucking wonder of the world. No, that’s a lie. The ninth. Because the eighth was already Jensen’s mouth. 

Jensen only yanks Jared’s pants far enough down his legs to get at his dick, so he’s all but trapped on the spot as Jensen smears a thick layer of frosting across his balls and around the head of his dick. He doesn’t even have enough time or brain power to complain about how cold it is, or how weirdly sticky, before Jensen’s hot mouth is wrapping around his dick and he’s sucking like he needs that frosting to survive. 

It’s a goddamn miracle that Jared doesn’t come on the spot.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jared groans, one hand slamming onto the table behind him for support while the other settles on Jensen’s head. Jensen looks up at him through thick lashes, eyes sparkling. He’d be shooting a cocky grin up at Jared right now if his mouth wasn’t stuffed full of dick. Then, still gazing up at Jared, he swallows and does something evil with his tongue that almost makes Jared go blind. 

“Holy shit,” Jared gasps, when he can speak again. “Your baking skills might not win any prizes, but your cock-sucking definitely would. You could go fucking pro.”

Once he says it, Jared thinks he probably deserves the sharp pinch to his thigh that Jensen gives him. In his defense, it’s not like there much blood going to his brain right now, and he did mean it as a compliment.

Thankfully, another pinch and a narrowed-eyed glare is the only retribution Jensen dishes out before he ignores Jared completely and concentrate solely on sucking the frosting clean from Jared’s dick. When he turns his attention to Jared’s balls, Jared needs both hands on the table behind him to hold him up. And, by the time Jensen’s licked every last hint of vanilla from his skin, his balls are almost burning with how fucking hard and tight they are. 

Jensen looks up at him, eyes watering, mouthing bulging full, and lips stretched wide round one of Jared’s swollen nuts, and he knows if he doesn’t fuck Jensen in the next two seconds he’s going to come across his boyfriend’s face. And while Jared’s creamy spunk joining the smears of frosting on Jensen face would be a pretty sight, he’d much rather see it dripping down the back of Jensen’s thighs. 

He hauls Jensen to his feet roughly, ignoring the huff of complaint, shuffles them both around and bends him over the kitchen table. The apron around Jensen’s waist is skewed and stained, but Jared likes it too much to take it off. He doesn’t even waste time taking off his own jeans, just shimmies them lower so they’re pooled around his ankles. He grabs the granola oil because it’s the closest thing to hand and prays that Jensen forgives him for his makeshift lube choice later. Oil has to be a better option than frosting at least.

He slicks himself up and trickles the oil down Jensen’s ass. Jensen lets out a high-pitched squeak which quickly turns into a breathy moan when Jared slides home. Jensen’s ass is tight and hot and as perfect as ever, and Jared is already so close to coming that he has to count backwards from a hundred in threes before he even thinks about moving. 

Jensen’s bitching at him long before he hits the sixties. “Move you fucking asshole. Goddamn it, Jay, I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t fucking do something right the fuck now.”

Jared wraps his hand around Jensen’s dick and starts jacking him off just to shut him up. 

It works for precisely three seconds. “Fuck me, Jay, please, god, please, come on, baby, need you, please.”

If there’s one thing that Jared can’t resist it’s Jensen begging. Not for a second. The little shit knows that too. Well, it’ll be the brat’s own fault when Jared shoots his load like a hair-trigger high-schooler.

“Goddamnit, Jen,” Jared snaps, smacking Jensen’s ass cheek, which wasn’t a good idea because it makes Jensen’s hole clench even firmer around him. Jared spanks him again. Just because. 

Then, one hand grasping at Jensen’s cotton apron, the other gripping his shoulder, Jared slams into Jensen, angling his hips just right so that Jensen lets out breathy whimpers with every thrust. Biting his lip in between his teeth in the hope that the pain might keep him from tumbling over the edge too soon, Jared pounds into Jensen’s ass until sweat is trickling from his forehead onto the curve of Jensen’s spine and his balls are almost ready to explode. 

Releasing his death drip on the soft material, he slides his hand back around to Jensen’s cock. It takes only a few strokes before Jensen’s coming all over Jared’s hand and the now ruined apron. Jared follows just a couple of thrusts later, coming so hard it takes him a few moments to remember how to breathe. 

“Fuck,” Jensen says, around the same time that Jared’s brain comes back online.

“Yeah,” Jared says eloquently in return, carefully sliding his dick out of Jensen, watching in fascination as his spunk slowly drips out; Jensen’s pretty hole too used and loose to stop it. Jared scoops a thick trail of come up with his thumb and shoves it back inside, enjoying Jensen’s gasp. He’s always so sensitive after Jared fucks him... it’s beautiful. If he can persuade Jensen to stay exactly where he is long enough to get his breath back and stop his knees from shaking, he’ll grab what’s left of the frosting and spend the next hour filling Jensen up and licking him clean again. 

“Jesus,” Jensen says, still not moving. “That was... fuck... “

“Better than cupcakes,” Jared finished for him.

“Definitely,” Jensen agrees. 

Jared pats his fingers against Jensen’s hole and grins when Jensen shivers. 

“One thing’s for sure,” Jared says. “I definitely...”

“Don’t dare say it, Jared, I swear to god. Or I’m never…”

But, despite his dick making a desperate plea for restraint, Jared just can’t help himself. “...nailed it.”  


Finis. 

Thank you for reading!   
  
  


  
  



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